ForGIVEness

Anger, resentment and grudges that we hold onto can prove to be insatiable beasts that feast voraciously on our ability to enjoy life. Being told to "forgive and forget" is a ubiquitous cliche' with a power dampened by its pervasive prescription, from loved ones and friendly mental health professionals alike. Forgiveness is hard no doubt, but when done authentically it can a transformative gift that directly impacts your overall levels of both qualitative and quantitative happiness. The fact is, the only meal that will satiate the aforementioned bottomless resentful grudge beast that is a heaping pile of authentic forgiveness. Here are a few tips for where to start your forgiveness effort, as well as a great video by SoulPancake detailing how forgiveness really only requires one person, YOU.

• What is getting in the way? - Take out a pen and paper, or open a note on your smartphone and list the reasons why you can not or will not forgive. Be as detailed as possible. Being able to read your reason(s) out loud provides opportunity for perspective and self analysis.

• What will I gain from forgiveness? -Ask yourself this question and again, WRITE IT DOWN! I get it, journaling/listing is annoying and homework-esque however, forgiveness is a process. The end result however, is a relief otherwise impossible to experience.

• What is the cost of NOT forgiving? - This can be a difficult question to answer honestly. No one is looking at this list so be real with yourself. Chances are the only person affected by your grudge is you. If this is the case, take control of your quality of life and treat yourself to forgiveness, you'll be glad you did.