Second Person Self-Talk

I am currently going through a course on “Working with Not Good Enough” produced by NICABM and I thought I would share some of the more useful information along the way. The first simple concept I am finding interesting and useful is the idea of “self talk in the second person” introduced by Dr. Kelly McGonigal. A theme that I hear often in office is the avoidance of talking to oneself due to fear of “doing what crazy people do”. Popular culture would like us to believe that listening to the voices in your head means that you are psychotic and although intrusive auditory command hallucinations should be managed and defused, self-talk on its own can be positively transformative. The skill of supportive self-talk is used widely by athletes and high performers to increase motivation and to heal issues that keep us trapped in dysfunctional habits and harmful ways of being. In the aforementioned course, McGonigal introduces the benefit of “talking to yourself in the Second Person”, and if you balked on what Second Person tense is I was right here with you while watching the course - I apologize to any former English teachers of mine. What the research proves is that I increase the benefit of experiencing self-talk by shifting towards Second Person speech; saying “Tyler, you can do this” is more useful than just “I can do this”. Exercising positive self-talk and the Second Person allows us to access the power of our social brain, in turn becoming your own support system/coach momentarily. So, how can you challenge yourself this week to talk to the Second Person and listen to what he/she/they have to say? Make sure to season the message with curiosity, creativity and compassion. 

Let’s talk, I can help. 

-TM